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Jul 18, 2011 | 3 minute read
written by Linda Bustos
Continuing our series on the European Union's Privacy and Electronic Communications Directive, today we are examining tips for writing permission prompts persuasively.
First, let's critique the ICO's own messaging:
The ICO would like to use cookies to store information on your computer, to improve our website. One of the cookies we use is essential for parts of the site to operate and has already been set. You may delete and block all cookies from this site, but parts of the site will not work. To find out more about the cookies we use and how to delete them, see our privacy notice.I accept cookies from this site.
The ICO would like to use cookies to store information on your computer, to improve our website. One of the cookies we use is essential for parts of the site to operate and has already been set. You may delete and block all cookies from this site, but parts of the site will not work. To find out more about the cookies we use and how to delete them, see our privacy notice.
I accept cookies from this site.
Translation: "We want to track your activity on our site, and have already dropped some spyware on your machine. If you decide to not allow cookies, our site likely won't work properly for you. If you don't understand this, scour our site in search for a privacy notice and good luck making sense of our legalese."
Okay, that's the worst-case-interpretation, but this copy leaves a lot of room for grokking to make it more persuasive. Here's why:
Enough with the bad, the last sentence is actually pretty good, the privacy policy is very clear and easy to understand.
Suggested rewrite:
The ICO would like to use cookies to improve your experience on this site. Cookies are small files that store non-personally identifiable information on your computer. Many are deleted when you close your browser. One of the cookies we use is essential for parts of the site to operate and has already been set. You may delete and block all cookies from this site, however this will disable some of the features of this website. To find out more about the cookies we use and how to delete them, see our privacy notice.I accept cookies from this site.
The ICO would like to use cookies to improve your experience on this site. Cookies are small files that store non-personally identifiable information on your computer. Many are deleted when you close your browser. One of the cookies we use is essential for parts of the site to operate and has already been set. You may delete and block all cookies from this site, however this will disable some of the features of this website. To find out more about the cookies we use and how to delete them, see our privacy notice.
This could also be truncated and tested as a "radical redesign" short-version (looks visually shorter and quicker to read):
We Respect Your PrivacyThe ICO requests your permission to use cookies to improve your experience on this site.Our cookies do not keep personally identifiable informationTracking is limited to this site and is not shared with third party advertisersWe use web analytics cookies to help us understand what content is most useful to our visitorsCertain cookies are essential to the proper function of this site. You may delete or block cookies, however this will disable some useful site featuresTo learn more about cookies we use and how to delete them, see our privacy notice.I accept cookies from this site.
We Respect Your Privacy
The ICO requests your permission to use cookies to improve your experience on this site.
To learn more about cookies we use and how to delete them, see our privacy notice.
Again, the copywriting keys are to:
The above copy is not "template" - your copy should be written to reflect the types of cookies you use and for what purpose. If you choose to pursue user testing, you may wish to experiment with short/long copy, bullets/no bullets etc.
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